Do you know someone in an abusive relationship? Making the decision to get involved can be difficult – especially if you don’t know how to help. But for many victims, the knowledge that someone cares and is willing to provide emotional support is critical to starting a new life free from abuse and fear.
Here are a few ways you can help someone suffering from abuse:
- Believe her. Ask her about the situation and listen to her without judging.
- Tell her that you support and care about her.
- Respect her need for confidentiality.
- Reassure her that she’s not responsible for the abuse and that domestic violence is never acceptable.
- Let her know she is not alone. Domestic abuse happens to many women.
- Give her clear messages that: she can’t change her partner’s behavior; apologies and promises will not end the violence; and violence is never justifiable.
- Her physical safety is the first priority. Discuss her options and help her make plans for her and her children’s safety.
- Be understanding if she chooses not to leave her abuser, or if she goes back to him after leaving. Many women leave an abuser several times before ending the relationship.
- Educate yourself and share information with her about local resources that can help if she decides to leave the relationship.
- Have her call CHOICES crisis and information line, 614.224.4663.
The use of feminine pronouns reflects abuse statistics that show 95% of heterosexual domestic violence is against women. CHOICES recognizes relationship violence crosses gender lines.
During the 2007 Peacemaker Awards Luncheon, CHOICES unveiled an exciting initiative for involving the community in our mission of eliminating domestic violence. In honor of our 30th anniversary, CHOICES has launched the “Circle of 30” Giving Circles Initiative.
In the past few years, thousands of friends, neighbors, co-workers, and community members around the country have been forming independent groups to engage in a new form of philanthropy characterized by shared giving. These groups – known as “Giving Circles” – combine donations in order to have a greater impact on their chosen causes. In a CHOICES “Circle of 30” Giving Circle, members pool resources with colleagues and/or friends who share a common interest in eliminating domestic violence from our community.
The advantages of joining a CHOICES “Circle of 30” Giving Circle are many. Members will deepen their understanding of the issue of domestic violence and how it impacts our community. They’ll learn more about philanthropy as a vehicle for social change and will participate in a social network of people who share similar interests and values. Finally, participation in a CHOICES “Circle of 30” Giving Circle will help families who are experiencing domestic violence create lasting change for themselves, and for central Ohio.
Hosting a “Circle of 30” is easy: CHOICES will provide a Giving Circles Starter Kit, which includes an overview of giving circles, a step-by-step guide for starting your CHOICES “Circle of 30” Giving Circle, key points about CHOICES to share with your circle members, and ideas for making your event fun.
For more information on starting a CHOICES “Circle of 30” Giving Circle, contact Beth Freeman at (614) 224-7200.
And remember – your “Circle of 30” has the power to help
eliminate domestic violence in central Ohio communities!
A Visual Testimony
The Clothesline Project is a visual display that bears witness to acts of violence committed against women. Shirts are used as canvasses for artistic and heartfelt expressions, which depict both the pain and horror of abuse and violence in the lives of women and girls and celebrate their survival. Each shirt is decorated to represent one woman's experiences and is designed by the survivor herself or someone who cares about her. As a public display, the Project documents the brutality and lethality of the violence against women and attempts to raise society's awareness of the issue and the extent of the problem.
On a personal level, the Clothesline Project offers survivors and their loved ones, as well as the loved ones of women who did not survive, an outlet to express their pain and a support for their healing process.
The History
The first Clothesline Project, a 31-shirt display, was hung in Hyannis, MA in 1990. Since then more than 500 Clothesline Projects have emerged nationwide and abroad, resulting in more than 350,000 shirts. In April 1995 a national display of the Clothesline Project was included as part of the National Organization for Women's Rally for Women's Lives - 6000 shirts were displayed on the National mall in Washington D.C.
The Symbolism
Although each shirt displayed in a Clothesline Project is unique, a common color-coding (established by the Project creators) is generally used to represent the different crimes of violence against women and children. The colors are:
White: for the women who have died of violence
Yellow: for women who have been assaulted
Pink: for women who have been raped or sexually assaulted
Blue: for women survivors of incest of child sexual abuse
Purple: for women who were targets of homophobic violence
To schedule CHOICES Clothesline Project, please call 614.224.7200.